Crying in the Rain

I feel lost
like with everything
I feel alone
i want to know
what grows in me
what causes this
I want to know,
Every inch of my heart
the scares of which are on it
and the pain that it goes through.
The holy spirit is in me
but why do i feel not?
Am i really alone?
Am i sad,
or is this a test?
Tell me
I need answers
I hate the feeling
i hate knowing
that one day
i could crash
and knowing so,
it could be the end forever